Tales From The Bandwagon
by FlaxenHairedSamurai
Summary: Join Flaxen and Fortune on their continued adventures through history, along with half the important names of the Sengoku Period. Through weddings, warzones, and the zombie apocalypse they go, learning more about their favourite characters, and maybe a little about themselves... Though maybe not that last part. Co-written with Fortune Maiden.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome back to the Time Travelling Bandwagon Extravangansa!**

 **Again, thank you for giving this a chance, and I hope you enjoy watching us suffer until the tyrannous Nohime as she plans a beauty pageant.**

 **The first two paragraphs and any after from Fortune's POV were written by Fortune Maiden and then adapted into the third person by me.**

* * *

After a quick discussion around who the best candidate for first aid officer was (and Sasuke removed from the list for now), the Takeda ninja and Flaxen were kept firmly to one side to be poked at, while the others considered the now worthless wheel. As usual, there was a lot of chatter, but very little in the way of solutions.

"So let me get this straight," Flaxen started to say, pausing to hiss when Nene accidentally brushed the lump beginning to form under her hair. Next to her, Sasuke gave a grimace, having already gone through a check up, and understanding her pain. "We have a ninja, an evil overlord, his wife, their page, a smartass strategist, a vagabond, a shrine maiden-slash-kabuki actress, a one eyed dragon, his right eye, his four best men, two graceful ladies, and two modern girls, and you're telling me not _one_ of us can fix a wagon wheel?"

There was a short silence as everyone glanced at each other before looking at the wheel again. Then… "Sounds right." The smartass strategist shrugged, a few agreeing mumbles accompanying the statement.

"Fortune, why didn't we include a mechanic in our planning?" Flaxen's query was met with a shrug, Fortune turning her attention elsewhere. It was one of those things that made perfect sense in hindsight, but then as the incident at Matsunaga's had proved; hindsight exists to punch you in the gut.

Making matters slightly worse was the fact that the bandwagon was a rental. When the wheel had fallen off, it had only been the initial belief that at least one member of their party had some knowledge in fixing wagon wheels that had stopped Flaxen from freaking out. Well, that and Nene firmly sitting her down to check her head. Now that that belief had been proving wrong, Fortune could visibly see her friend starting to lose her cool.

And then, just to rub salt in the wound, Oyu timidly asked a very important question, "If none of us can fix the wagon, then how are we all supposed to get home?"

If it had been anyone else, they would have been pounced on them for bringing up things that everybody was trying not to think about, but because it was one of the new additions, who happened to come from a world where time travelling bandwagon shenanigans were stuff of fiction, nobody could help but stew over it.

Eager to soothe his little sister, even if they were separated by an entire world, Hanbei was soon at her side, wrapping an arm around her, "Well, if worst comes to worst, Lady Okuni can always take us all back." He sent a quick look to Okuni, who hastily nodded along, serene smile not wavering once.

At the very least, it wasn't a complete loss. The bandwagon had at least made it to Sekigahara before the wheel fell off, and as a quick glance showed, the giant hotpot was right where it was supposed to be. And if Noh's face was anything to go by, plans for the beauty contest hadn't been affected in the slightest.

Besides, how hard could fixing one wheel be?

"Looking at me isn't going to accomplish much," Masamune suddenly snapped, bringing Fortune out of her contemplative state. Without meaning to, her eyes had wandered in his general direction, but it wasn't actually Masamune she was focusing on this time. Instead, she was looking at the person behind him.

"If it were something from this era, I would be inclined to take a look," Kojuro said as if reading her mind, "But I don't know what I don't know."

"Can you learn?" Hanbei asked helpfully, "If you had an idiot's guide or something?"

Kojuro glared.

Hanbei hastily backpedalled, "No really, that's what it's called!" The strategist held up a familiar device, prompting Flaxen to pat her pockets before scowling at him. "The Idiot's Guide to fixing Bandwagons. 5th Edition."

"No way!" Fortune snapped and snatched the phone from him. There was no way that such a thing could—nope, it was legit. She passed the phone around so that everyone could take a look. Sure enough, Hanbei had somehow found a pdf of the eponymous book.

5th Edition too. Apparently, that wasn't even the most recent one.

"Brother, what is that?" Oyu turned the device over in her hands.

"A futuristic Ninja Network," he replied, "I'll explain later. Well, Boss Katakura, can you work with this?"

Kojuro made a face, but whether it was in reaction to the phone or to Hanbei's adopted nickname for him was uncertain. He squinted at the screen.

"I suppose it _could_ be worth a try…"

* * *

There were several items on the agenda. First and foremost, fixing the bandwagon. That task was given to Masamune and his men, with Hanbei and Flaxen's phone as their coordinator. There was a little protest on that delegation, mainly from Ranmaru, which brought up the next task.

Sekigahara was perfect. Noh had declared it to be the perfect stage, and eagerly set out to make all of the preparations. These included creating the arena, setting up the viewing area, and gathering the participants from all points of time. Assisting her were Nobunaga, Ranmaru, Sasuke, Okuni and Flaxen. (It was here that Ranmaru protested Hanbei's involvement with the Date Clan. A retainer of the Oda Clan should have been assisting them.)

As any true boss, Noh put herself in charge of the viewing platform, the hot pot, while Nobunaga and Ranmaru were sent to create the arena, and the others were sent to find participants. Sasuke would get whomever was alive, and Okuni and Flaxen would get anyone who happened to be dead. It would also give Flaxen a chance to practise her time travelling.

As for Fortune… She wasn't given a job. Well neither was Keiji technically, but he was responsible for getting Nene and Oyu accustomed to Bandwagon life which was a job in and of itself. It had been Masamune who proposed the current split, and then Noh who allocated her resources accordingly, but when Fortune asked them what she was supposed to do, all she got was a snort and an order to go practice her swordplay.

That… got boring really quickly.

* * *

"So with that in mind, how can I help?" Fortune gave Masamune her best smile. He rolled his eyes.

"I already gave you an order," he said, "Learn to fight."

"But—

"Hey, watch it over there, you idiots are putting too much weight on the other side!" Masamune suddenly shouted at his men, "How many wheels do you want to be fixing!" He pressed his palm against his forehead, muttering under his breath.

"Do _you_ know anything about fixing bandwagons?" he asked the lingering Fortune critically.

"Well… no," She admitted, "But you're just reading the Idiot's Guide, right? I could take over for Hanbei and—

"Nah, I like Shorty where he is," Masamune said, "We get on well."

 _That I noticed_ , Fortune thought to herself. Hanbei seemed to have easily befriended everyone in the group, and was often the voice of reason… a very sarcastic, often indifferent, voice of reason, but still someone they could rely on. He was a far cry from the Hanbei of the Basara World.

Her musings were brought to a halt with a sudden crash. A familiar banged up wheel rolled between Masamune and Fortune, neither speaking as they watched it. Over by the bandwagon, one of the Date Men, the one with the pompadour, was jumping up and down clutching his foot. The other three looked sheepish, while Hanbei and Kojuro wore matching frustrated glares.

Masamune turned back to Fortune. "How good are you with first aid?" he asked calmly.

"Um…"

"Go practice your swordplay," he ordered again and walked off to yell at and treat his injured man.

* * *

"Aren't you both supposed to be looking for the dead contestants?" Sasuke asked. "Not that I didn't appreciate the shortcut."

Flaxen shrugged, continuing her admiration of Kenshin's garden. "Well, the only lady from your world who we know for a fact is dead is Nohime. I was going to ask about that considering we already have a Noh, and I don't want to break the timeline or something-"

"Ah yes, because you've been so careful about that so far."

Stopping to glower at him, Flaxen soon picked up her sentence again, "And Oichi's just ambiguous since we saved Nagamasa for her. So, I figured we might as well take you from place to place before going after them."

Okuni, who had stayed mostly silent in favour of looking around and keeping them on track suddenly spoke up, "Well that, and Flaxen wanted to see Kasuga's reaction when you asked her to take part in a beauty contest."

Even though the house was in sight, Sasuke stopped dead, turning to look at both of them. Flaxen hastily waved her arms, "That's not entirely true...I also wanted to snag some tea while we were here."

Settling for shaking his head, Sasuke went a few more steps before holding out his arm, "Alright, you guys stay here. It's one thing for us to turn up with a wagon full of people, another for me to bring uninvited guests right to Lord Kenshin's doorway."

"Somehow that made sense." Flaxen shrugged, dropping to the grass with her legs crossed. "We'll wait out here for you."

"I thought you said you wanted to see Kasuga's reaction?" Okuni asked, once Sasuke was at the door and knocking. He looked back as if to make sure they were still there, Flaxen waving in response.

Only when he was actually allowed in did Flaxen speak, moving to hold her chin in her hands, "Yes, but it's always best to be at a safe distance when you're asking Kasuga to do something she'd rather not." She thought for a second, "Especially when your name's-"

"SARUTOBI SASUKE! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST I WOULD HAVE ANY INTEREST IN TAKING PART IN SUCH AN EVENT!" The door was suddenly flung open again, their ninja all but flying out of it. Hurriedly jumping to her feet just as the first few knives were thrown, Flaxen let Okuni grab her wrist, her other hand reaching out for him to take.

"I think we can count Kasuga out." Sasuke huffed as soon as he was close enough. "Who's next?"

* * *

"And with that in mind, please allow me to help," This time, the thousand watt smile was for Nobunaga and Ranmaru. They weren't the first—er, second—choice, but Sasuke, Okuni and Flaxen weren't around.

"Lady Fortune, this isn't a playground," Ranmaru told her icily, "Furthermore, were you not given a specific task of your own?"

"Practice your swordplay, was it?" Nobunaga grinned, "Could you have become an expert capable of taking on Ranmaru in such a short amount of time?" Ranmaru instinctively placed his hand on the hilt of the sword on his back. Fortune's own sword suddenly felt so much heavier around her waist.

"T-that wouldn't be possible even I practiced for the rest of my life," She muttered. Nobunaga laughed while Ranmaru just shrugged. "Hey, you guys are supposed to be encouraging!"

"Be that as it may, Masamune gave you a direct order," Ranmaru reminded me pointedly, "Even if you dislike it, you must obey."

"But I'm not his vassal!" Given how the bandwagon was structured, _technically_ all of these guys were their—that is, her and Flaxen's—vassals. Not that she would ever say that out loud though. Mutiny would be a bad thing.

"Suit yourself," Nobunaga said, "But remember those words for later." There was something ominous in his tone, that in ever-loving, gut-punching hindsight, Fortune should have paid attention to, but she realized that he was going to let her help set up the arena, and that was all that mattered!

"So then, what are we doing?" She asked gleefully.

"You don't even know that?" Ranmaru muttered under his breath, but before Fortune could snap at him, Nobunaga said,

"We are setting up the arena for the beauty contest. The scaffolding makes a nice border, but the inside if pitiful. We need forts, obstacles, booby traps—

"Booby traps?" Fortune asked, "Why those?"

"To level the field," Ranmaru said, "It is my understanding that the women who will be participating all have different occupations and therefore different tactics. Someone like Lady Oichi may not handle a ninja who relies of various tricks to ensnare her target. Traps will mean that everyone has to stay alert."

"Oh, I see." Well it sounded legit anyway.

"It's a shame though that Lord Hanbei is not involved in this," Ranmaru continued, "Traps like this are his specialty."

"Really?" Fortune thought about it, "Well I guess if he has to lure the enemy into an ambush—

"Not quite," Ranmaru had a distant look in his eye, as if a bunch of unpleasant memories were suddenly flooding his brain, "Just trust me on this one."

"No matter," Nobunaga waved his arm, "Even Hanbei wouldn't have been able get a bear on short notice."

Fortune decided to trust Ranmaru on this one.

* * *

Kaga didn't seem to have suffered too much from whatever chaos Keiji had caused on his last visit. With any luck, enough time had passed that when they presented the pitch to Matsu, mentioning her nephew wouldn't lead to the three of them running for their lives again. And in the event that they did need to make a run for it, their escape route had already been planned out.

So far, things seemed to be going well.

"A beauty contest?" Matsu asked with a raised eyebrow, even as she spooned out a portion of soup and set it under her drooling husband's nose. Similar bowls were sat in front of the time travellers, Sasuke pushing his forward when she held her hand out, "I take it Keiji put you up to this?"

Toshiie paused in his admiration of his wife's cooking to admire his wife, "Don't be so modest Matsu, it's obvious that they'd choose you."

"My Lord Inuchiyo…" The blush on Matsu's face was practically luminescent, Sasuke swiftly rescuing his bowl before she accidentally knocked it over with her squirming. Eventually it died down, by which point Toshiie had taken over serving duty, and everyone was slurping. Her cheeks were still slightly pink as she looked back at her guests, "Thank you for considering me for this but I fear I must refuse."

Sensing it before it came, Sasuke grabbed the end of Flaxen's ponytail, holding her head back from the table. Ignoring it, Okuni smiled charmingly, "I'm sorry to hear that, may I ask why you can't attend?"

The smile Matsu flashed them was equally as sweet, but Flaxen still felt the room's temperature drop a few hundred degrees, "Because I wouldn't want to spoil your event by chasing Keiji with a bear. After he left last time, I found a few more…surprises he had left for us."

A low growl made the time travellers look towards the courtyard, going very still as a bear lumbered by. Parts of his damp fur were covered in bright paint, and the longer they looked, the easier it was to see a deliberate pattern. "Is..is that kanji?" Flaxen asked, squinting and leaning closer before looking around at the others, "What does it say?"

"You're too young to know." Sasuke sighed, shaking his head. Okuni on the other hand was nodding, clearly impressed. "Well, thank you for your hospitality in any case."

* * *

"Ironing your kimono, carrying your sandals, serving you hotpot, I'll do anything! ANYTHING!" Fortune cried, bowing lower and lower with each word, "Just please don't make me go back there!"

Her brief stint with Nobunaga did not go well at all. Since she was too weak to build forts, and too unimaginative and unfamiliar with combat to create booby traps, Nobunaga decided to have her test them instead. Every one of her muscles was sore, her clothes were a mess, and there were still pinecone bits in her hair. And throughout it all, Nobunaga had laughed. And Ranmaru just stared indifferently.

 _Those two really are demons! I barely escaped with my life!_

Noh just looked her over, keeping her distance from her dishevelled form. "I don't recall sending you over there in the first place," she quipped, "Didn't you have training to do?"

"Er well…" No, even if Fortune had wanted to, training was an impossibility. Everything _hurt_!

"No matter," Noh shrugged, "If I think of something you're not useless for, I'll let you know." She walked off without another word, disappearing around the rim of the hot pot. Fortune lifted her head with a sigh. Swallowing back her fear of heights, she glanced over the viewing platform where the small shapes of Nobunaga and Ranmaru could be seen. It didn't look like they were looking for her at least.

Before she could wallow in self-pity though, a friendly voice called out, "You look like you've seen better days."

Fortune turned around to find Keiji waving with a cheeky grin on his face. Behind him Nene and Oyu watched curiously, their expressions unreadable.

"Hey, since you were offering to serve hot pot, how about you wait on us for a bit?" His tone made it clear that he was kidding, which made Fortune relax slightly. Wandering over to him, she noticed for the first time that there was a tarp laid out on the other side of the hot pot viewing platform, and on it were various sweets and a tea kettle.

"Oh were you guys having tea?" She asked.

"Eating, drinking, watching you suffer under Nobunaga's tyranny. All good fun!" He laughed at his own joke. Fortune grimaced.

"You… saw all that."

"Are you alright?" Oyu leaned over, looking at her carefully, "What Lord Nobunaga did was… cruel."

"Tell me about it," Fortune let out a dramatic heavy sigh and under her breath added, "No wonder that guy has no friends."

Unlike Hanbei who'd seamlessly endeared himself to everyone, Nobunaga seemed completely disinterested in keeping up peaceful relations in the group. Noh and Ranmaru were getting along just fine (more or less), but Fortune still couldn't help but feel a thick tension whenever Nobunaga made eye contact with Sasuke or the Date Clan.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Keiji shrugged, "We're all in this for the long run, so we'll all have to play nice sooner or later."

* * *

Retrieving Oichi was supposed to be the easiest part of their task, considering her husband owed them his life. And considering the castle their latest jump had brought them to, the Azai hadn't been too badly affected by Nobunaga's fall. Sure, the last time Sasuke had paid an unexpected visit he'd gotten a sword pointed at him, but today, they were envoys of peace, hoping to bring people into new friendships across time.

At least, that was how Okuni had suggested they pitch it, approximately two seconds before Nagamasa called for the guards, who were now surrounding the three of them. "Is this how you usually thank the people who save your life?" Flaxen called over her shoulder, unable to actually turn without getting a sword in her back.

"Thanks to you, I was held over a wagon moving a top speed and dumped like trash. Have you any idea how painful landing like that is?"

"We do, actually." Sasuke responded before Flaxen could. "Lord Nagamasa, we're not here to hurt you, or Lady Oichi, I promise."

Nagamasa thought for a second. It was a long, agonising second that Flaxen suspected he was deliberately dragging out, but he eventually made some sort of gesture that made the soldier holding his sword to her throat lower his arm. Without hesitating, she moved to stand between Sasuke and Okuni, folding her arms while Okuni delivered her prepared speech. "We're here to invite Lady Oichi to a contest that we're holding. From there, we're hoping that she chooses to continue travelling with us."

Spotting something behind Nagamasa, Sasuke gave Flaxen a small tap to point it out to her, before delivering the trump card they hadn't quite agreed on, "If it's her abilities you're worried about, there's no need to be. We've planned around that, and have thought of some goals that even accommodate them in some way."

"We can even bring her back so that only an hour passes here, no matter how long she's with us." Flaxen flashed a hopeful smile, moving slightly so the woman who'd crept up on the meeting could see it, "How about it, Lady Oichi?"

* * *

The moment of truth arrived, heralded by the hammer that had been smashing against thin air, fingers and the odd nail finally getting set down, and the men holding who had been holding the bandwagon up slowly lowering it again. Watched by several pairs of eyes, Hanbei clambered into the back, bouncing gingering to test it. Against all odds, the wheel held, the mechanics breathing a sigh of relief.

Not a second later, there was a small POP, Flaxen running over to the wagon with a hopeful expression, "Did you fix it? Is my security deposit safe?"

"Welcome back to you too." Hanbei said, climbing down, "It's a yes on both counts. As soon as the beauty contest's over, we can be on our way again."

At that, Flaxen cringed slightly, "Yeah, about that…"

She was cut off by Noh's arrival, the lady of the Oda raising an eyebrow as the rest of the gathering team finally caught up. She looked Oichi over with a raised eyebrow, "It's taken you this long to find one contestant? We've set the stage and traps, the wagon has been repaired, and Fortune has managed to shirk two sets of duties."

"I wondered where she was." Masamune grumbled, "I was planning to spar with her."

"Yeah, about that whole contestant thing…" Flaxen started, rubbing the back of her head and looking for backup. Okuni and Sasuke both wore the universal expression for 'You're on your own'. Wincing, Flaxen turned back to Noh, who had clearly worked out the point of what she was trying to say.

* * *

"Ah, looks like the others are back with Oichi." Keiji reported, standing with a hand shielding his eyes. Suddenly, he dropped his hand with a wince, Fortune coming to join him at the railing, "And it looks like Oichi is all we're getting."

From high up, the full force of Noh's fury wasn't apparent, but the way Flaxen was backing away slowly from her was a slight giveaway. Then they dropped the charade entirely, and Flaxen charged behind Kojuro, like she was hoping he'd protect her. Noh was waving her hands quite theatrically, only the barest echoes of her shouting making it up to the platform.

"We'd better get down there." Fortune decided, "It sounds like we're in for another meeting."

* * *

When they got back down to the others, it was to see that Noh had managed to abstain from acting on her frustration. Gulping at Masamune's sharp look, Fortune hurried to sit next to Flaxen on the repaired wagon. She was hoping he'd forgotten about her.

"If we're not having the beauty contest, what are we supposed to do with all the traps?" Nobunaga asked, folding his arms, "We spent a long time making sure they worked."

"Until the test subject ran off, that was." Ranmaru added.

Blinking, Flaxen suddenly felt the wagon shudder underneath her, and set a quick look at Fortune, who only shook her head. Ah, not something to ask about then. "We could always use them on Matsunaga when we finally find him." She suggested instead, "Before we give him to Oichi, I mean."

"That's only if we ever find him." Masamune said, before sending a look at Oichi, "And that's providing the theory about her powers works anyway. I say we save the traps for later."

A murmur of reluctant agreement went through the crowd, before Kojuro changed the subject again, looking at Okuni, "What about your task? Would you say Flaxen has grasped how to use her powers yet?"

"It was a lot easier when I was holding onto Okuni." Flaxen admitted with a sheepish shrug. "I don't really get why it was so hard compared to pulling this thing around." She gave the wagon a few pats, limbs locking when it groaned slightly. A tense few seconds went by before she felt brave enough to continue, "Maybe we were wrong?"

"No, we weren't." Okuni said with an uncharacteristic sternness. "The wagon acts as a conduit for your powers. The trick is to get around needing the conduit. You'll be fine with more practise."

Flaxen grimaced, but didn't reply. Instead, she slipped off the wagon, shouldering her crossbow case. "I'm going to get some target practise in."

"The meeting isn't finished yet." Nobunaga pointed out. When she just ignored him and carried on, the warlord drew to his full height with a frown. Seeing it, Fortune went on edge. She knew that expression. It ranked second only to the Oda smirk in how much trouble the person it was directed at. "Clearly she doesn't understand the price of disobedience."

"I'm sure she does." Fortune said hurriedly, "But don't forget, we're here to have a bit of fun, not-"

"I would think having your friend dance for our entertainment would be very amusing indeed."

Jaw dropping, Fortune struggled to come up with a response to that, ultimately clamping her mouth shut, yielding to the suggestion they get the meeting back on track. A decision she quickly regretted when the talk turned to the beauty contest again, and Noh brought up the wonderful idea of giving a few of the contestants a makeover, eyes roving over her selected vic- _contestants._ Not daring to meet Ranmaru's gaze as he slowly vanished, Fortune gauged the distance from the wagon to the hot pot, wondering if she could make it.

* * *

The bolt had buried itself deep into the wooden platform leg, but any elation at hitting her target had vanished when Flaxen tried to pry the bolt out. It barely wobbled when she tugged on it, only a quiet squeak giving any evidence that it was shifting at all. Taking a deep breath, she braced one hand against the wood, the other wrapping in a tight fist around what little bolt was still in the open. Then she yanked with every inch of her strength, only to be quickly reminded that that wasn't a huge amount in the first place.

Hands on her shoulders pulled her away gently, Keiji taking her place a second later, "Let me try." He murmured, taking up the same position.

Folding her arms, Flaxen watched the bolt come loose almost immediately, Keiji checking it for bends or breaks before holding it out to her. "Thanks," She whispered, tucking it into her quiver. They stood in awkward silence then, before she took a glance over to the wagon, where the meeting had evidently disbanded, "I thought you were looking after Oyu and Nene?"

"They're settling in alright. They're actually helping Lady Noh hunt down your friend right now for a makeover." Keiji chuckled when Flaxen shuddered. "Yeah, I sort of guessed you wouldn't be interested."

The silence returned, but this time it was broken much sooner, Flaxen unable to resist a quiet laugh of her own, "This seems familiar."

"You'll figure the time travel out." Keiji promised, sounding as though he whole heartedly believed it, "Only being able to do it while piggybacking Okuni's power or on the bandwagon is still more than the rest of us can manage."

"I know, it's just…now I'm actually thinking about it, you know?" Thinking how best she could explain it, Flaxen finally hit on a suitable metaphor, "It's like breathing or blinking. You're fine until the point you realise you're doing it, then you're stuck trying to keep to the old rhythm."

No answer came, and after a while she glanced at Keiji, only to see him blinking rapidly. "Sorry, but you made me think about it." He shrugged, beaming when she spluttered with laughter. "For now, mind if I suggest you try to figure out how it all works when you have something to focus on? Something smaller maybe."

Considering it, Flaxen finally nodded, "Yeah, maybe that could work. And I know just what I can use."

* * *

 _Something's wrong._

The thought made Hanbei snap out of his doze and into an upright position, his eyes scanning the landscape. At first glance, nothing seemed to be wrong. Fortune and Ranmaru were still evading the makeup squad, and the men were staying well out of it. But he knew better than to ignore the voice in his head. It was every strategist's best friend, after all.

And so he continued to look, over and over again, until he spotted what didn't belong, or in the case, what was missing. He first looked towards Keiji to see if he had any clue as to where Flaxen was, but the vagabond was caught up in sneaking Yumekichi treats, and had been for some time, judging by his relaxed posture.

Not wanting to alarm anyone just yet, Hanbei got to his feet with an only slightly exaggerated stretch. The higher vantage point let him see Fortune as she crept up to the main platform, but there was still no sign of the other modern girl. With a quiet groan, Hanbei lumbered over to the wagon, ignored by everyone but Kojuro, who was no doubt suspicious of what he was planning.

Hoping his casual wave dispelled most of the worry, he took a quick look around the bandwagon, first in the front, and then in the back. He did his best to avoid disturbing whatever organising system there was to the sacks and bags, but ultimately, his search only revealed what he already knew, and how it had happened.

This wasn't going to go over well.

* * *

The news that his mountain retreat had been ransacked of valuables, and the pit trap had failed to keep the thieves in one place was not what Matsunaga Hisahide wanted to hear. While only part of his collection, the pieces were nonetheless irreplaceable, and now he had to put off finding new treasures so Kotaro could trace the old.

Sipping at a cup of tea (which had come from a beautiful set, but not from Hiragumo, and so was inferior), Hisahide considered the thieves. He doubted they knew the true value of what they had taken, or how difficult it would be to sell such pieces for that amount. No, he put his faith in Kotaro, or at least the orders he had given to make sure that every last piece of his collection would be returned, and the criminals shown just how foolish they were.

He was just going to take another sip when there was a loud clatter in the room behind his, shortly followed by a muffled cry as what was obviously one of his Heian vases smashed onto the floor. Thankfully no further uproar ensued, meaning the little vandal had correctly decided that staying put was the best way to avoid detection. Unfortunately this time, the thief wasn't the only one in the house, something he would soon alert them of.

Wiping his chin of the tea he'd spilled in his surprise, Hisahide lazily collected his sword from the floor, pausing only to wince when he heard chine crunching, the thief obviously trying to pick their way across to an escape route. Making sure to put on his usual smirk, he threw the connecting door open, fake amusement becoming true when he saw the revealed figure jump.

It was a young girl, wearing clothes he had never seen in any of his dealings with the foreigners, which going by her colouring alone, the girl clearly was. A crossbow was in its case on her back, but it was the small box in her hands he reserved his interest for, for the glowing panel that even now she tried to smother against her shirt. Her eyes were wide, not with fear, he noted, but with disbelief.

"Now, what do we have here?" He asked, taking a short step forwards.

Crunching yet more priceless china as she inched away, Flaxen gulped, clinging tightly to the satnav.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you mean she's gone?!"

Hanbei winced at Fortune's pitch. It had taken him a few minutes to convince Noh to call off the hunt so he could fill everyone in, but he was beginning to wonder if it would've been less painful to leave Fortune up on the platform. "I mean what I said. Flaxen's gone, and so is the satnav."

"But how? Surely somebody must've seen her wander off. Who saw her last?" Kojuro's enquiry was met with a brief silence as everyone glanced at each other. Finally, prompted by a silent point from Hanbei, all eyes fell on Keiji, who cringed at the attention, "Maeda?"

"She was annoyed that she couldn't time travel on her own." Keiji explained, "I told her to try using something small as a focus first, but I thought she'd be with Okuni when she did."

"Clearly you credit her with too much sense." The scoff came from Nobunaga, who promptly ignored the few glares he got. Ranmaru tried to glare back in his lord's defence, but there were too many to combat on his own.

Dropping her head into her hands, Fortune tried her best not to panic. Flaxen would turn up safe and sound, or they'd figure out where she'd gone, and everything would be fine. Because if it wasn't, she'd have to tell Flaxen's parents that their daughter was lost in another era, and that was a conversation she really wasn't looking forward to. "This would be so much easier if I could just phone her."

"I thought you gave Flaxen her phone back, Shorty?"

Hanbei nodded, but Fortune was shaking hers, "It wouldn't matter. Even if by some miracle there's a phone signal that extends between worlds, I don't have her phone number."

"That seems like a big thing to overlook." After giving it some thought, Hanbei shrugged, "Then again, you didn't pack any rope, either."

A quiet hum coming from Okuni made everyone look over to her. The news of Flaxen's disappearance hadn't shaken her at all, at least not in an obvious manner. Instead she seemed to be mulling the problem over on her own, keeping any conclusions she had drawn to herself. Now though, her small frown turned into a smile as she turned to the others. "If Flaxen has successfully travelled on her own, we're better off waiting for her here than running of on a search." She patted the side of the wagon, "Her original focusing point is here after all."

Getting the feeling that that was supposed to be comforting in some way, none of the others had the heart to tell her that it had failed.

* * *

"Come now, girl, I won't ask again. Who are you and what are you doing here?" Matsunaga kept his tone cordial, friendly even, and had she not known exactly who he was, Flaxen might've fallen for the act. As it was, she kept backing away, trying to push past whatever was freezing the rest of her brain.

At the same time, she knew Matsunaga wouldn't wait for an answer forever, and that sometimes it was easier to play the game. "I'm lost. I must've took a wrong turning somewhere." One heck of a wrong turning considering she'd been trying to go back to Kaga. At least there was food there. And cute animals. And a lack of pyromaniacs who'd just been robbed.

There was probably some lesson the universe was trying to impart here about consequences and taking responsibility for your actions, but Flaxen wasn't in the learning mood.

"Lost hmm?" Matsunaga put a hand to his chin in mock thought before smirking down at her again, "I'm sure you'll understand why I find that hard to believe. No, I think you've simply made the error of returning to the scene of your crime, hoping to make further profit. Only you've made the mistake of leaving your accomplices behind."

Flaxen kept her mouth closed, knowing he'd use it as proof he was right. But the thought of her 'accomplices' as he put it did spark something, her eyes briefly darting to her hands before returning to Matsunaga. He was their end goal, after all, and if she could just get back to the others… Come on, how had she done it before?

Taking a deep breath, she nodded, repeating the action when Matsunaga could only stare. "You're right. I was part of the team that robbed you a little while ago."

"I see."

"And we sort of broke your pit trap. Don't worry though, it probably wasn't meant to hold so many people at once." Taking a quick glance at her hands, Flaxen began pushing at the screen, hoping against hope that her plan would work.

It wasn't until she finished typing in her destination that she felt it: a slight prickling in her mind. It vanished the second she broke focus, which was somewhat inevitable since Matsunaga had obviously gotten bored of the game and was going for his sword. With a shriek, she bolted between the nearest two shelves, taking random corners through the maze.

Matsunaga let her run, preferring to stroll after her calmly instead. "No matter where you run, you're trapped. You may escape today, but I will have you hunted down, you and your friends. You will return what you stole, it's simply up to you when."

His voice echoed far louder than Flaxen's quick breathing, but was still next to useless for tracking him. She moved as quietly as she could, fighting to keep her breaths slow and steady. As she slipped around corners, she tried her best to forget about where she was, thinking only of where she wanted to be. The sooner she managed it, the sooner she would be away from the madman with a sword, and thinking of a story to tell Kojuro so he wouldn't lecture her again.

Eventually she came to a corner, with just enough space for her to squeeze between the shelves. It wasn't a perfect hiding place, but it would do for now. Keeping her back pushed against the wall, she gripped the satnav as tight as she possibly could, eyes falling closed without meaning to. As she worked, the prickling returned, lasting only seconds before it gave way to the serenity Okuni had told her about. So easily hidden under the excitement of warping to 16th Century Japan, and yet so obvious now that it let her feel it.

Fixing upon a point, locking onto it with absolute certainty, Flaxen couldn't help but grin as she pulled herself towards it, practically smelling the hotpot already…

Just as a hand clamped onto her shoulder.

* * *

The quiet pop pricked all the tension from the air, everyone looking to the point of origin with a sigh of relief… Only to quickly freak out again.

Thankfully they weren't the only ones, and as he looked around desperately, trying to understand what had just happened, Flaxen was able to wrench her shoulder free of Matsunaga's grip and scramble away. She ducked under Kojuro's arm and charged for the wagon, all but throwing herself into the back and hugging it as much as she could. Before Matsunaga could do likewise, he found himself pinned to the spot by the swords and shuriken all aimed at his throat. With an annoyingly calm sigh, he released his own sword, letting it clatter to the ground as he raised his hands. "Well, this is an unexpected development."

"Took the words right out of my mouth." Masamune grinned, shifting his eye to glance towards the wagon, "You alright, kid?" A warbled series of sounds preceded a hand rising into view, fingers curving into a thumb's up before it flopped back down. Choosing to take that as a yes, the One Eyed Dragon looked back to their prisoner. "Well, at least something came of this."

"So I'm guessing this is the Matsunaga of your world?" Hanbei asked. Unlike the Odas, he hadn't rushed to threaten their new guest, and was standing a safe distance away, with his compass in hand.

The words made Matsunaga raise an eyebrow in interest, even as Sasuke nodded, "Yep, this is him." After a few minutes of nobody saying anything, the ninja rolled his eyes, "Will someone get the leftover rope? We can't stand like this all day!"

At first nobody moved, but then Fortune jumped into action, extracting the rope from under Flaxen's arm, and scurrying over with it. Between her and Sasuke, Matsunaga's hands were soon tied up to his elbows, allowing everyone to drop their weapons at last. Matsunaga's sword was picked up from the ground and returned to its sheath, ready to be 'filed' along with the rest of the gear on the bandwagon.

Returning back to the wagon, Fortune saw Oyu and Okuni helping Flaxen into a sitting position. The younger girl was still fairly pale with shock, but after a cup of water was pressed into her hands, a little colour started to return. "He knows we stole from him." She giggled shakily, taking a large sip.

A hand suddenly appeared, landing on Flaxen's hair and ruffling it slightly. "Ah, he would've found out sooner or later." Keiji let Yumekichi run down his arm to sit on her shoulder as he leaned against the wagon, "So, you figured out the time travelling?"

"I wouldn't say 'figured it out' so much as 'jumped off the cliff'."

Conversation stalled as the others returned to the wagon. Matsunaga was firmly sat down to the side of the wagon, with Sasuke keeping a sharp eye on him, while the others seemed particularly interested in hearing the story for themselves.

All except Kojuro and Nene, that was.

With only a glance and a nod passing between them, Nene soon had Flaxen back on the ground, an ear pinched between two fingers, and Kojuro was glaring the others into staying back. Ignoring Flaxen's quiet complaints, the pair left the wagon in utter silence, with even Masamune cringing as they dragged her away. "You couldn't pay me enough to be in her boots right now."

"She's actually wearing sneakers." Fortune pointed out, supressing a shudder.

For a few minutes nobody could speak, too entranced by the pantomime taking place a short distance away. Nene and Kojuro were obviously taking turns to ask Flaxen what she had been thinking, leaving without a word, and judging by their reactions, her answer wasn't at all satisfactory. In the end, they had to look away, if only because Matsunaga chuckled quietly. Those acquainted with him turned their heads sharply, and even Oyu and Okuni looked on edge. "Well, this certainly explains a lot. Dare I ask where or when my possessions have ended up?"

"Sold to pay for law school." Hanbei cheerfully informed him.

"At the lowest possible value." Nobunaga added in a bored tone. "It's why we had to take so much."

If he'd meant to aggravate their captive (and knowing Nobunaga, that was precisely his plan) it worked. A slight flush appeared in his cheeks, and he let out a quiet growl, ignoring the hearty laughter of the Demon King. Masamune on the other hand was glancing over to where the joint lecture was still ongoing, "Come on Kojuro, hurry up so we can get this over with."

Eventually, Flaxen was deemed apologetic enough, and allowed to return to the others. As she pulled herself back into the wagon, Fortune tilted her head, "How was it?"

"They had every tactic down. Guilt-tripping, threatened punishment, and extracting the whole 'I promise never to do this again.'" She blew some stray hair out of her face. "And that was just Kojuro!"

With everyone assembled, it was time to get down to business. As Matsunaga watched with one eyebrow raised, Okuni brought Oichi round to stand in front of him. "The Demon King's sister." He commented in a surprised tone. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

"We figured out that the only way a character from your world is guaranteed to _stay_ dead is the dark hands that Oichi commands." As Fortune spoke, a lone hand crawled from Oichi's shadow, moving round to stand beside its mistress. It was soon joined by a second, and then a third.

"I see." He looked around at the crowd surrounding him, every face covered in anticipation, "And why do you think such a fate suitable for me?"

"As if you need to ask." Masamune scoffed.

"Alright then. Let me ask another question." His smirk didn't falter as he regarded the trio of dark hands. "I have seen those dark hands in front of their prey before. They never falter, never hesitate, even when their mistress wants them to." Fortune's eyes widened in realisation, Matsunaga confirming her suspicions with a nod. "So why haven't they reached for me yet?"

A few moments of silence followed, Oichi staring down at the trio with a surprised expression, even as she nudged one with a foot. The gentle tap seemed to wake them up, though Flaxen couldn't be too sure that was the reason it suddenly reared upwards. Sure enough, there was a quiet, lingering rumble until at last…

"Did that thing just burp?"

* * *

Choosing the perfect spot to watch the cherry blossoms wasn't that different from picking a picnic spot, Fortune realised. Sure they were kind of limited in where they could sit since she was pretty sure having Matsunaga tied to the back of the wagon would cause some uncomfortable questions from the locals. Then there was the fact that some of their current passenger list were supposed to be dead and…yeah.

Eventually though, they finally settled on the fringe of the celebrations, Keiji and Okuni setting their gear down before going in search of refreshments. "With any luck, they'll buy out the entire sweet stand." Flaxen griped, flopping back dramatically.

It hadn't taken long for her to get the munchies while everyone else tried to figure out what was going on with the dark hands. As a result, it had been her to find the empty packets of sweets that had been stashed in the wagon, and the truth, however impossible it seemed, had become clear. Having eaten their fill of the sweets, the dark hands were no longer hungry, and therefore didn't want to eat Matsunaga's soul or whatever it was they did. And since nobody really wanted to try the Roman method, there was nothing to do but wait for them to starve.

Hence, there they all were at Okuni's suggestion.

Lying back with her hands under her head, Flaxen let out a long sigh. A little further away, Kojuro and the Date men were setting up the camp and a small fire ready for later, with another few twigs occasionally dropping down from the trees they were under until Kojuro said they had enough. After that, Sasuke landed in a neat crouch next to the wagon.

When she closed her eyes, she could just about make out Nobunaga and Nene comparing memories of similar festivals, with the odd input from Ranmaru or Oyu. Before she could think the question, Nohime gave a dark chuckle, placing the Demon Queen next to her husband. Oichi was collecting petals as they fell, Hanbei had vanished to finish off the interrupted nap from earlier, and Masamune was quietly chatting with Fortune next to her, discussing their next steps.

Certain everyone was accounted for, Flaxen opened her eyes once more, staring up at the pink petals. "Would you think I was crazy if I said I'm glad it didn't work right away?" A quick look to the pair next to her revealed the answer. "I just mean, it's our end goal. Shouldn't there be a little more to it than wandering off?"

"You're not wrong." Fortune shrugged. "We have a lot planned, but this was our only concrete goal."

After a second to think about it, Masamune shook his head, "The sooner he's dealt with, the better. Having a goal's all well and good, but when you achieve it, that's when the fun can begin, you see?"

As if to prove him wrong, a cheerful greeting in Keiji's voice made them all sit up. He and Okuni were weighed down by several baskets ("More of my money gone, I suppose?" Matsunaga asked before Hanbei crammed a sock in his mouth), which they set down in a pile between the groups.

"We have sakuramochi, dango, steamed buns, rice crackers, steamed vegetables and to wash it all down with…" Okuni pulled back the cover of the last basket to reveal several bottles and cups.

"Today might not be such a disappointment after all." Nobunaga grinned, watching Ranmaru move to collect a few for their group.

Looking over the food as it was unveiled, Flaxen fixed on the pink lumps of mochi, feeling her mouth water. But not wanting to risk disappointment, she let Fortune by to take some, moving for the vegetables and dumplings instead. Seeing her expression, Keiji slid one onto her plate anyway, "If you don't like it, I'll finish it."

"I probably shouldn't have too much anyway." She explained, sitting down with her food. At the various looks of curiosity, she tapped her front teeth, "When I go back home, I'll be waiting to have braces. So, too much sticky stuff, not a good idea."

"Probably not." Fortune agreed, taking a flask for them to share.

When Hanbei came to get his own food though, he snatched it away, ignoring the outraged noises the pair made. "Now now, it wouldn't be responsible of us to allow you to break the law."

Swapping a look, both modern girls cast a pointed look towards Matsunaga, and then to their weapons, Fortune barely holding back a scoff, "Yeah, that ship's sailed already."

"Yeah shorty, what's the problem? It's just a bit of sake." Masamune asked, rolling his eyes and filling up Fortune's cup from his own flask. Before he could do the same for Flaxen's though, Hanbei had pulled it away.

"While we were dropping Kanbei off at Harvard, I took the liberty of looking up the entertainment in the area for him." Hanbei started, his expert air causing several eyes to roll in their sockets. "And I just happened to find out the legal drinking age is a little different in the future."

"You're kidding." Flaxen deadpanned, already feeling her throat drying up. "Fortune's old enough to drink!"

"In your country maybe." Pretending to think about it, Hanbei finally gave Flaxen a spiteful grin, "But you're not old enough yet, are you?" Her glower being enough of an answer, the strategist pointed back towards the wagon, "We should still have some water."

Holding her glare for a second longer, Flaxen rose to her feet, "This is about interrupting your nap earlier, isn't it?"

"Maybe." Patting her on the head, Hanbei moved to pile up his own plate.

The obvious thing to do would be to continue in the grand tradition of younger siblings, and mooch some sake from one of the others, which was exactly what she tried to do. Key word: Tried.

Figuring that Nobunaga wouldn't care either way, she approached the Oda camp first, only for Nohime to immediately shake her head, "It's not wise to interfere when Hanbei has it in his mind to avenge himself."

"So you won't help?"

The Demon King's wife gave a sweet smile that made Flaxen tense, "I'm afraid not."

With a loud groan, Flaxen spun on her heel towards the Date clan, only to discover their flask was now in Kojuro's hands. Using the same tone he'd used when lecturing her earlier, he raised one eyebrow. "How much experience do you have with alcohol?"

Knowing it wasn't worth lying, Flaxen looked towards Sasuke and Keiji, only to find that that was where Hanbei had chosen to sit himself down. Feeling her eyes burning into his bag, he threw her a lazy grin that only deepened when she turned towards the bandwagon. She only wanted a little to wash her dinner down with, was that too much to ask?

When she returned to her plate with one of the water bottles though, it was to find her cup already half full, Fortune catching her eye as she sat down. Grinning at her friend, Flaxen carefully sipped at the alcohol, trying not to make it obvious. It wasn't like the few sips she usually had from her brother or mother's glass, not having the strange aftertaste. "I could like it." She finally decided, licking her lips when it was all gone.


End file.
